Knife's Edge
by SkullSweetie
Summary: Scorpius watches her. It's what he does. He's watched her for the six years that he's known her. Which is why he wonders how he could have missed it.
1. Chapter 1

**a/n i do not own anything but the plot.**

**_scorp pov_**

i sat next to Al at breakfast and looked at her.

she was, predictably, laughing.

her face rivaled the colour of her hair, her dark brown eyes were squeezed shut and the corners of her open mouth were upturned.

she looked like she always did when she laughed.

she was always laughing.

this was something that bothered me. why did she laugh so much? i lent towards my best friend and asked him, he was after all her cousin. Al's reply was a shrug: unhelpful.

i sighed and shook my head before looking back at Rose, only to find her not there. i blinked in confusion. where'd she go?

i was answered by two arms round my neck and a kiss placed at my temple: only Rose was that touchy-feely with me. in fact, she and Al were pretty much my only friends.

"Hey cuz." she greeted Albus, plopping into the empty space next to him. Al gave a small salute, cheeks bulging with bacon, and Rose giggled a little. i gave her a half smile and returned to watching her.

watching her was just something i did. i'd done it since she'd marched into my train compartment 1st year with Al in tow, sat down and started talking to me as if we'd known each other all our lives,and it was sixth year now.

with fiery red hair, pale freckled skin and a perma-smile, Rose Weasley was more than pretty. sure the brown eyes and red hair were an unusual combination, but on her they worked.

there was always something though. her shimmering laughter never touched her eyes, though they lit up whenever she smiled a tiny smile at me, which always stirred a warm feeling and set butterflies loose in the pit of my stomach.

i wanted to know now. i wanted the answer to my question.

* * *

i couldn't concentrate in Charms, and could only stare at her in Herbology, completely ignoring Professors Flitwick and Longbottom. Through both lessons, she laughed at the simplest of things like the startled look on Al's face after he got hit by a pillow i'd sent his way by accident, or Livvie Longbottom saying Tigger Lillies instead of Tiger Lillies.

at break i caught her arm and dragged her down one of the deserted hallways Hogwarts seems to have an abundance of. a small smile made her normally dull brown eyes look like melted chocolate. she threw her arms around me in a tight hug, and i clasped my hands around the tiny girl's waist, holding her close for a moment before stepping back.

"Rose, why do you laugh so much?" i asked, instantly regretting it when one of her fake grins stretched across her face, light in her eyes fading. she lent towards me conspiratorially, beckoning me to lean down.

"Because i'm completely miserable on the inside." she whispered, before laughing. i raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah?"

"Oh yeah." she chuckled, nodding. "Got scars on my arms and wrists and everything."

my eyes darted to her arms, suddenly remembering i'd only ever seen her in long sleeves, and i'd grown so used to the multitude of bangles she'd worn since before i'd known her jangling i didn't even hear it anymore.

my mind raced. was it true? was she disguising the truth in a joke? was it true?

nah, course it wasn't.

i scoffed at Rose, barely noticing the flash of sobriety cross her face, slinking my arm around her shoulders and walking to our next lesson: Potions with Professor Slughorn Jr.

who knew someone would want to procreate with Slughorn?


	2. Chapter 2

**a/n i do not own anything except the plot and livvie longbottom, and the invention Tiger-Lillies, which do bite. **

**_rose pov_**

**__**i eyed the knife. its point sparkled, reflecting the beautiful sunset hues streaming in through the window. i then glanced down at my mutilated left arm before sweeping the knife across it in a single smooth, practiced motion.

there was the satisfactory burn of pain, and a few drops of blood bubbled from my veins, staining my skin.

it had been such a relief to tell Scorpius, even if he didn't believe me. i pictured his platinum hair and ivory skin, coupled with the mot beautiful stormy grey-blue eyes i had ever seen. if only i could tell him my other big secret.

another slash of the skin, this one deeper.

i missed Hugo. more deep scarlet blood welled up, running down my forearm. hit by a car. of all things, a car!

i missed Nana. a tear dropped into the blood stream, mingling and turning part of it pink before it was once more overwhelmed by crimson blood. sure, she'd died of old age, but i miss her. she made everything better.

i wished my parents would stop fighting. another slash, more blood, more tears. they'd been going at it for six years, always at each others throats, ever since Hugo.

i missed my little brother. i missed the way his warm eyes always looked at me so seriously., even though he was so young. i missed his half smiles and the way 'he'd' make me breakfast in bed on my birthday.

another cut. and another.

maybe...

i looked at the knife for a second, turning it in a shaft of light so it glinted.

then i sliced open my wrist as deep as i could, proceeding to do the same with the other one.

as the world turned black, i heard the door open and a scream, hollowly echoing pounding feet, my name being called form far far away and hands on my shoulders.


	3. Chapter 3

**a/n i own nothing but the plot and livvie longbottom, and the tiger lillies that bite.**

_**scorp pov**_

_****_the next day the entirety of Hogwarts was buzzing with the news. i strode through the corridors, ignoring the whispers. they weren't true. they couldn't possibly be true. Rose was waiting to throw her arms around me and kiss my temple as soon as i sat down at the Slytherin table.

except,when i sat down, there was no blurred streak of red rushing at me from the Gryffindor table, and Al wasn't next to me. my eyes scanned the Table of the Courageous, and found it lacking in red heads.

no.

no, it couldn't be.

* * *

i ran to the hospital wing to find the missing red heads jostling and talking anxiously and frowns on their faces. Near the front of the group was a single splash of black in the sea of red, and i pushed my way through the waves to where Al was shoving his glasses up his nose.

i looked at Al, pleading with my eyes to tell me it wasn't true. the Potter boy just looked at me sadly, tears in his eyes. i shook my head, looking blankly at the heavy wooden doors as if i could see right through them to the broken girl inside.

i took in every detail of that door over the next hour. saw all the different tones of honey brown and ocher and dark brown, studied every wood grain, the light glinting off the brass handles. then the door opened, and i was first through them. i rushed to where i could see her fiery red hair spread in a halo about her, in stark contrast to her bloodless skin and snowy pillow. i stood stock still.

bandages wound up her arms, wrist to shoulder. her normally cream skin was white as snow, and her eyelashes were red crescents on her pale face. the circles under her eyes were unbearable, as were the stress lines around her mouth.

it was a horrible sight.

i sat by her and held her hand, feeling like i was never going to let go.

* * *

rose tried to kill herself.

time moved strangely there. some times seconds were like hours, and i saw everything in startling clarity.

rose tried to kill herself.

other times things were like in a muggle movie with everyone blurred and moving fast, single snapshots standing in the mind.

rose tried to kill herself.

i held Rose's limp hand like it was a lifeline, and stared at her slack face throughout the steady stream of family and close friends. then, abruptly, i stood and strode from the hospital wing. i could feel startled stares at my back, but i couldn't take it anymore. Al was not far behind me.

rose tried to kill herself.

i rounded on him, anguish written on every plane of my face.

rose tried to kill herself.

"I knew, Albus. she told me yesterday. i could have stopped this."

rose tried to kill herself.

the boy looked at me, green eyes wide, before yelling at someone to get Lily, his twin. Lily was a Gryffindor, and better at handling this sort of thing. she looked at me quizzically and then the story was pouring out in torrents from my lips, words stumbling over themselves.

rose tried to kill herself.

me watching rose, noticing she laughed more often than was natural, the slightest thing setting her off. about my question, and her answer, and my suspicion. about not doing anything about it. about loving her.

rose tried to kill herself.

by the end of the tale i was sobbing. Lily looked at me and slapped me round the face.

rose tried to kill herse-

i blinked at the ginger haired girl in surprise, tears halting in their salty trek down my face.. she looked at me critically for a second, ignoring her gaping twin, and then nodded in approval before pulling me in to a tight hug. Louis, another red haired Weasley, who had seemingly appeared out of nowhere closed Al's mouth, and the two approached cautiously, apparently sensing it was safe.

"No one blames you, Scorpius." Lily said kindly, releasing me. Al seemed to relax slightly and clapped me on the shoulder.

"Not at all mate." he said, a small, weak smile on his face, dropping quickly as his eyes darted to the Hospital Wing.

"I could have stopped it." i murmured brokenly.

"No you couldn't have." Lily said firmly, looking me in the eye. there was no falter, no tell that said she was lying. "Let it go."

i looked at the small, fierce ginger, who despite tiny stature was still taller than Rose, who was her elder. her brown eyes, so similar to Rose's looked at me seriously.

"Go." she said, giving me a small push. "She'll need you when she wakes up."

Lily was right. she would need me, and i would need her, desperately. i would need to see her eyes, see the undertones to the warm chocolate such as honey and hazel, making her eyes dance when she smiled her secret smile at me.

i needed to see her.

i crushed Lily in a hug, nodded to Al and Louis, and took off for the Hospital Wing, arriving just in time to see Rose's eyelashes flutter.

i rounded on him, anguish written on every


	4. Chapter 4

**a/n do not own anything but plot, Livvie Longbottom and the Tiger Lillies that bite.**

**please review!**

******_scorp pov_**

**__**she was vibrant the next day,much to my surprise. there was a spring to her step and a smile on her face, and she acted no different from normal, hugging everyone and placing a kiss to my temple. she still laughed, still answered questions like the smarty pants she was, still shone. she ignored the whispers and looks from students discreet and indiscreet alike. her wild tumble of red hair bounced as she walked down the hallway.

this girl is amazing.

however, she is human, which is why i was unsurprised when i found her in the library crying at lunch. i sat next to her, and she startled, blinking at me like a small innocent child through eyelashes stuck together by tears. then she scrunched up her eyes, let out a sob and flung herself at me, sobbing into my shoulder.

i tugged her into my lap and rocked her like the small child she looked like, rubbing circles on her back and whispering nonsense in her ear. i stroked her hair, i ran a finger down her spine i soothed her. we stayed like this for merlin knows how long- maybe hours. then she pulled back sniffling, and searched my eyes for something. i looked back at her, confused, and then she leaned in again. except, instead of laying her head on my shoulder, her lips pressed against mine.

i froze.

rose was kissing me.

my hands tightened on her waist, fingers tense.

rose was kissing me.

i lifted her slightly so she lent down to kiss me instead of stretching up and hurting her neck.

rose was kissing me.

i returned the pressure, savouring her taste and relishing in the silkiness of her skin.

rose was kissing me.

her arms wrapped round my neck, and she moved softly, arranging herself more comfortably so she was now straddling me.

rose was kissing me.

rose was _straddling _me.

i blushed furiously as something moved _down there_, but she just chuckled, and it was an altogether new sound that was music to my ears. so that was what her real laugh sounded like. it was beautiful.

when she pulled back she was breathless, and her small, secret smile danced on her kiss-swollen lips.

"i love you." she whispered. i leaned in to kiss her mouth, then went lower, pressing butterfly kisses to her neck. she moaned slightly, letting her head fall back. i trailed kisses along her jaw, over her shoulder, kissing down to her concealed arms. there i presses the tenderest, gentlest kisses ever, and looked up at her through my eyelashes. she was looking at me.

"Never again." i said in a throaty whisper, pleading with her, begging her, asking for her promise.

"never again." she echoed. i smiled, and kissed the tip of her nose.

"i love you."


	5. Chapter 5

**a/n do not own. omg, this is the epilogue of my story. i cant believe it! thank you so much for all of you who have read this, and please review!**

**_scorp pov_**

**__**it was the night of the leaver's ball. we had done it. end of our eighth year, finished our newts, kept a relationship, and not had anymore 'incidents'.

Rosie had gotten straight O's, i had had a few E's in Potions and Herbology and an A in HofM. we had been dating since the day in the library. her scars were still there, nothing could get rid of those, so i still only saw her in long sleeves and numerous bracelets, but i didn't mind. i would never mind, as long as she never did what she did again.

i fiddled with my emerald green tux, and adjusted my darker green bowtie. Al stood beside me dressed similarly but in blue, looked at me anxiously.

"Do i look alright? have i missed something? oh merlin scorp-" i tuned him out. he had been worrying non stop since he asked Livvie Longbottom to the dance, and it was making me worry too. then Livvie was there and i glared at her.

"finally. do you know how much of a wreck he's been that you wouldn't show?" i hissed. "And dont get me started on how many times he's checked with me how he looked."

she just laughed and walked away, Al in tow. i sighed and looked at the staircase, wondering when Rose wwas going to get here, when i lost my breath.

Rose was gliding down the grand staircase.

her usually unruly curls were piled elegantly on top of her head, and she had the barest of makeup on, just enough to look elegant and dignified, but not enough for it to be garish and obvious. her feet were clad in ruby slippers reminiscent of the Wizard of Oz, only instead of tacky they were gorgeous. but it was the dress that got me.

crimson in colour, it reached her ankles, and shimmered gently in the light. it had a halter neck, and a square neckline that that then turned into a sweetheart neckline at the last moment. and that was what got me. a halter neck? there were no long princess gloves to go with the elegant dress, and the sleeves- there were no sleeves.

rose was gorgeous.

she smiled at me when she reached me where i was frozen in place, laying her hand in mine. i looked down at her, still tiny in her heels, and beamed beck. i bowed and kissed her hand, making her giggle. i then kissed each wrist, where scars still stood in plain sight. but i didn't care. they were old, and they were memories of what she'd been through. and she was here, with not a sliver of self-consciousnesses, for the first time in eight years, in a halter neck.

i lead her into the the grand hall, which had been transformed into a ballroom. everyone stopped and stared at us, and i felt my gorgeous girlfriend shuffle uncomfortably at my side, so i twrirled her round so she faced me and not them. i set her dancing, swirling us around the dancefloor, and she smiled at me. as we danced, i thought over the last two years. hours by the lake, just talking. evenings of tears and explanations, stories from our pasts visits from parents who finally stopped arguing and started paying attention to the child whom the yhad left, and had nearly lost. family meetings, kisses, hugs, arguments, paradise.

then there was what i had planned for tonight.

* * *

i was hurrying, impatient. i had drawn Rose away from the party, leading her down corridors, making sharp turns doubling back on myself a few times. finally we were at the room of requirement. she looked at me quizzically, and a rose an eyebrow, james bond style. she laughed. then i swept her inside, where she gasped. there were flickering candles of every shape size and colour everywhere, and a circle in the middle, which i took her too. making sure her eyes were on me, i knelt and pulled a box out of my pocket. her hands flew to her mouth, eyes wide.

"Marry me."

she nodded.

* * *

i kissed her, furiously, passionately. i attacked her mouth, nipping and sucking, before moving down over her jaw and neck. my fingers scrabbled at her back, and the dress fell to the ground in a whisper of silk against silk. her breath hitched, and i chuckled darkly into her satin skin. my hands went to her soft mounds, kneading and tugging, whispering endearments in her ear as her own fingers trembled as they unbuttoned my shirt, and then my trousers. i gasped against her stomach as her fingers slid over skin, and attacked her mouth again. slowly i lowered her to the floor, where i took her, claiming her forever as my own.

i was her first, and i was happy in the knowledge that i was her last, and she was my first, and i was determined to have her be my last.

rose tried to kill herself.

rose kissed me.

rose straddled me.

rose claimed me.

rose held my life, on the balance of a Knife's Edge.


End file.
